Life exists. Time passes, a circuit of sunrises and sunsets. The sun drifts across the day and the moon, pale and soft like salt water taffy, across the night. Pinned against a star-scape that spans the entirety of the earth. I am in love with the way time swallows itself. With the way the days do not relent. With the dancing of moonlight across the snow, and the way your hair has gone grey as I wait for mine to do the same.

How have I been alive for nearly thirty years?

The fight against the pull of poverty, the down current of trauma, and the sodden darkness of depression were longer and more exhausting than I could have ever imagined. But to know that it has gotten us here, that it has gotten us home, together, is more than I ever felt I could ask for.

I am very good at watching the sun sink below the ocean, the sound of the shore pounding in my ears. I am very good at listening to the rain in the forest, and the small and low sounds of birds beneath a wet canopy. I am very good at letting go, at letting time pass, at letting the days and nights unravel, a thin silken string.

What did psychosis teach me?

In the corridor, I hear a doctor ask, distant, unreachable, beyond the scope of my mind, “What’s wrong with her?”

Again, I scream. And my mom says, “She has schizophrenia.”

“Ah,” the doctor says, “I see.”

Find a day that works for you. Tuesdays are, again, for me. Your day might be different, but everyone needs a day. A day to take care of yourself, a day to relax, a day to learn to love yourself, a day to see your doctor, a day that doesn’t change, a day you can look forward to.

You were meant to heal; you are not a haunted house.

It has been a while since my body has felt like my own, longer since I felt as though I have autonomy over my mind. Longer still since I have been able to write.

It is spring now, nearly summer, everything is full of life…except for me.

I’ve been told that schizophrenia is worse than cancer, that it is the worst of all illnesses. And while I believe that schizophrenia can be devastating, it is more so the views of schizophrenia that society has that devastate those who have it. Schizophrenia forces people into homelessness, disability, and drug abuse but it is us, as a society, that leaves them that way.

Schizophrenia is an aberration, so it comes as no surprise that researchers are again looking into a new risk factor; cannabis use. Specifically, the correlation between adolescent cannabis use and the development of schizophrenia later on. However, even here, there remains indecision as to whether cannabis use is a real risk factor, how cannabis affects the brain, and if cannabis affects the brain at all. 

For those young people who are between the ages of 25-34, one in five will die by suicide compared to the one in ten that the same age group of young people without the diagnosis to face.

A new glance into our neurodevelopment poses that the placenta may play a key roll in a heightened risk for developing Schizophrenia. This study suggests that complications of the placenta may help to ‘turn on’ some of the genes that have been associated with diseases of the brain. Ones like ADHD, Autism, and Schizophrenia.

New study on human stem cells, chicken eggs and umbilical cord identifies substances produced by the brain that alter vascularization of patients’ nervous system.

As a person who hears voices often (near constantly) despite medication intervention I’m always looking for new ways to cope with them (the voices). And although I don’t see myself receiving Transcranial Magnetic Stimulation (TMS) anytime soon, I think it’s important to keep up with new treatments as they become possible or available.

Are the negative symptoms (lack of interest and motivation, as well as flat affect and loss of socialization) overlooked and oversimplified?

However, this landmark decision by the FDA to clear a new antidepressant comes not without barriers. The new drug is costly, more expensive than most would be able to afford, and because of the addictive nature of Ketamine, Esketamine can only be administered and taken in a doctor’s office, hospital, or clinic.