About Schizophrenia & Related Disorders: the psychosis spectrum
I don’t want this page to just be one that includes a list of symptoms, or a summary of diagnostic criteria. Psychosis is a human condition, and therefore I believe it is more helpful to see how it actually affects humans, and how it has affected me.
Schizophrenia is one of the most misunderstood mental illnesses. Not in the least, by the general public. And is, by far, one of the most stigmatized. People often assign examples of violence and impulsivity to the disorder, when undue, and to those who live with it. People with schizophrenia and disorders related to it face real discrimination. Schizophrenia is a chronic and disabling condition that has the potential to inhibit those with the illness from doing many things. Though it doesn’t have to. And, to some extent, the suffering people with psychosis face is directly related to the societal expectations placed upon them.
Those with schizophrenia can lead fulfilling and independent lives. Whatever that may mean to the individual. My life is just one example. The ways in which psychosis has affected me are just some of the ways psychosis can affect people. Remember psychosis is as diverse as the human experience, and what may be a fulfilling life to one person, is not what another may be looking for. All lives are important and all lives have value.
Within a person's lifetime, mental illness is common. Yet, we often consider mental illness rare, even unlikely. In many ways, a person may believe themselves to be immune. That it will not happen to them. And when it does, a person often may prefer to pretend that it does not.
Yet, hundreds of thousands of people will endure mental illness in their lifetime. And for schizophrenia, which is slightly less common, 2.4 million American Adults are affected.
Many people will continue to have symptoms for the rest of their lives, though this doesn’t mean that successful management isn’t possible.
When I was diagnosed, many doctors told me my life was over. Even my long-time therapist was convinced of this. And, I believed them (for a while). For many years after my symptom onset and diagnosis, I wasn’t able to work full-time. But instead of fighting this reality, I recognized that I needed rest. And I took it. I respected what my body & mind needed from me at that time.
These days, I am a university graduate and work a full-time job from home. I engage in my passions and I am still pursuing my goals. Schizophrenia, for me, has been like recovering from a bad accident. I’ve had to adapt my life, I’ve had to make changes, and request accommodations occasionally, but I’m not the person my diagnosing doctor said I would be. And to me, that's what matters. I’m not living in a group home. Instead, my partner and I own our home. I haven’t been hospitalized in over six years. I’m even a published author, something that doesn’t come without hard work. I was not officially diagnosed with schizophrenia until August 2015. So for a very long time, I went unmedicated, dealing with psychotic symptoms almost every day. Nobody can anticipate that they might develop something as serious as schizophrenia. And for everyone warning signs are different. But here are several to be on the lookout for:
1. Purposeful isolation.
2. Detachment or avolition.
3. Withdrawal from friends and family.
4. Hearing whispers or odd noises that others do not hear.
5. Trouble focusing or appearing distracted.
6. Reduced personal hygiene.
These are just a few, but I find these to be common among many of those on the psychosis spectrum.
Young adulthood was snatched away from me by madness. An incredible shame that those around me either didn't know to look or didn't care. I don’t want this to be the same for you or someone you love.
After many years of experiencing psychosis, I thought I had lost everything. I lost three jobs. I lost relationships with lovers and family, friends. Even school standing. At the time, my symptoms were alarming and horrific. They began with difficulty concentrating, insomnia, lack of motivation, declination in self-care, and increased self-harm. Before long I was experiencing visual hallucinations, false memories, complicated delusions, auditory and tactile hallucinations, dangerous psychosis, suicide attempts, disorganized thoughts, and catatonia. I went on and off meds, in and out of hospitals, and my moods oscillated from high to low. Still, getting the diagnosis was hard. This was mainly out of reluctance on the part of my treating physicians.
Of course, now it’s getting easier.
“I never thought I’d be happy to have been diagnosed with schizophrenia, but after having danced around the disorder for so many years I am grateful.”
I never thought I’d be happy to have been diagnosed with schizophrenia. But after having danced around the disorder for so many years I am grateful. Because now I can receive the correct dosages of the right antipsychotic medication. Beta-Blockers for anxiety, and anti-depressants. I take a number of pills a day, but that isn’t what matters. What matters is that I get the care that I need.
One year after my diagnosis, my wonderful psychiatrist, began to take into consideration my mood symptoms too. I was re-diagnosed with schizoaffective disorder.
This disorder exists within the gray space of bipolar disorder & schizophrenia. And is even less well-known than schizophrenia, which I have found frustrating. Six years on, I’m finally in true recovery. It wasn’t without pitfalls, however. I dealt with overmedication for a while. An experience that forced my life into slow motion.
But, I found out some things along the way. I learned about amazing people who have succeeded despite schizophrenia. I learned that schizophrenia doesn’t spell the end of your life. In fact, having schizophrenia taught me a lot about myself. Psychosis has helped me to cultivate resiliency. It has helped me to appreciate what I have because I know what it feels like to hit rock bottom. And finally, schizoaffective disorder has spurred my passion for advocacy. Putting me on a path toward a career I didn’t even know existed. My writing has a purpose now, and a voice I never could have developed without what I’ve been through. People will want to tell you that your life is over after you’ve had a diagnosis of a psychotic disorder, and you might even listen for a while. But if you keep fighting you’ll come out the other side better for it. You might be at the worst point in your life. A doctor may have told you it’ll only get harder. But out there, in the darkest moments of our lives, there is a light. The two cannot exist without each other, dark & light. You'll find it if you look. In the meantime, yet, we can support each other.
Schizophrenia doesn’t have to be an illness you fight alone. Below is a link to a comprehensive list of the early warning signs of schizophrenia. Also, there is a link to a page where you can read up on schizoaffective disorder. If you or a loved one show any of these, prompt visitations to the proper doctors are recommended. Below you will also find a link to some informative information about substance abuse disorders and how they relate to schizophrenia. Self-medication is common, and nothing to be ashamed of.
Remember, schizophrenia is not too rare for you or anyone else to develop and early intervention makes a world of difference. At eighteen I was told it was too rare for me to have. At twenty-eight, I am an example of those within that 1%. The sooner you reach out for help the better.